This is part of an online conversation between me and an ex-boyfriend of mine, John. Sometimes guys just don't get it. Then again, sometimes girls just don't get it either.
me: I gave my number to this guy monday night
John: did he call?
me: and he called me an hour later. an HOUR!! that SCREAMS desperate. so of course I didn't call back
John: lol
me: he left a message. but then he called me again last night! and left a message!
John: oh boy
me: but I haven't checked it yet. dude. can this guy take a class in tried and true dating rules?
John: well.. here's the problem. not all of you women are the same. it's not learning how to date... it's learning how to read women
me: um, the whole knowing-when-to-call thing is very simple
John: you have to figure out if they are the type that wants you to call right away or not
me: like not an hour after you get the number. no girl wants to be called that quickly
John: but..
me: see, there were no words exchanged between me and this guy
John: no words! damn KT
me: no
John: maybe he's intrigued and wants to find out what your VOICE sounds like!
me: um no
John: that's so funny
me: he sounded nice on the message tho
John: maybe he is
me: he's like, you're beautiful blah blah
John: I say give him a chance
me: typical
John: and after 2 conversations, if you don't like him.. then cut it off
me: well whether or not I give him a chance will highly depend on what this second message says. the thing is if we had had a nice conversation and then he called me to say, nice to meet you or whatever, that would be different
John: well yeah... see... here's the thing. if you meet a guy and you're REALLY into him. if he calls you right away, it's all good. but if you're questioning it, then he'd better call you like 3 days later
me: well yeah
John: and us men are forced to read that
me: there's no way to tell if I like this guy or not, we did not exchange a single word.
John: so then why would you drop him right away?
me: because HE CALLED right away
John: But how do you know that it's desperation and not that he's overly excited about YOU.
me: because. regardless of how excited you are, if you have any dating skills whatsoever, you still know to NOT CALL THAT NIGHT!
John: common misconception
me: haven't you been listening?
thoughts? Am I being ridiculous?
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6 comments:
Yep, kiddo. Ridiculous. Listen to your friend; he's right. ;-)
I think it's a little ridiculous. I think that girls put too many unnecessary weird rules on dating. Whatever happened to just treating potential mates like fellow humans, instead of making all kinds of weird assumptions based on largely nonsensical and mysterious "rules" that vary from person to person? Not all girls are the same. If I gave a dude my number, and he called me an hour later, but we didn't speak, I'd be happy to chat. "Sorry we didn't get to talk, thanks for following up!"
I think dating is too complicated. Fortunately so does my boyfriend.
OK, let me explain. The whole reason why I'm uncomfy with him calling so soon is that it automatically makes him seem overly needy or attention starved. Which is very very unattractive to me. And this is just based on my personal dating experience. By the way, there have now been 2 calls and 1 email in the span of 3 days. Am I going to get no support on this? :-)
Eh. I observe the rules of dating, while simultaneously thinking they're a load of crap. What if he calls after two days? Is that ok? Is 5 days too long? It's stupid. He's just interested, that's all.
Here's the thing. If you gave him your number without exchanging a word, he's calling based on looks alone. Meaning physical attraction. Meaning, he probably just wants some action. What else does he have to go on?
And how the hell do you give out your number to a guy without saying a word to him and then criticize him for calling?
Weirdo.
I vote yes. The only way you'll find out is by talking- and you should be able to find out whether he has potential rather quickly.
Nice to see you yesterday- most def let me know if you are planning on going to see nate sometime soon.
I don't imagine you want my take on this one...
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