Where I'll be in 2025

...as written by one of my professors. Not even kidding.

Lurie, a precocious Albany-based editor and regular Facebook correspondent, was one of a very few New York City residents who in early spring 2008 knew that surprise-governor David Paterson’s surname had only one “t” letter in it. Lurie also knew just how profane an environment the state capital could be. Said Lurie: “Every third word I heard in Albany was the f word.” This shocked Lurie’s Craft II professor, who until that moment had not realized journalists cursed. Said Lurie: “The guy had an odd way of looking at things sometimes.”
Lurie was an accomplished student of business while at CUNY J and continued to achieve great things within the world of economics and finance after she left. Much to the surprise of those who knew her, Lurie in midlife took a break from heavy-duty business reporting and in early 2025 moved to Iowa where she joined with classmate Fritzie Andrade to open a successful salon that brought together artists and readers of 10-K financial reports.
Lurie is also remembered as Professor Wayne Svoboda’s first—and, so it seems, only—friend on Facebook. Said Lurie: “Somebody had to do it. Otherwise the whole situation seemed so sad.”

One Word Free Association, Part Deux

1. Yourself: girl
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): nada
3. Your hair: long
4. Your mother: kind
5. Your father: unpredictable
6. Your favorite item: passport
7. Your dream last night: questionable
8. Your favorite drink: tea
9. Your dream car: Jaguar
10. The room you are in: bedroom
11. Your ex: moving
12. Your fear: death
13. What you want to be in 10 years? fulfilled
14. Who did you hang out with last night? cats
15. What you’re not? bored
16. Muffins: chocolate
17. One of your wish list items: gym
18. Time: fast
19. The last thing you did: showered
20. What you are wearing: flats (!)
21. Your favorite weather: fall
22. Your favorite book: Milne
23. The last thing you ate: oatmeal
24. Your life: challenging
25. Your mood: calm
26. Your best friend: many
27. What are you thinking about right now? stories
28. Your car: silver
29. What are you doing at the moment? sitting
30. Your summer: exciting
31. Your relationship status: free
32. What is on your TV? nothing
33. What is the weather like? drizzly
34. When is the last time you laughed? school

Reason Why I Love Kate No. 4,682

Me: Hey!
Kate: Hi, I have a question and I can't seem to do this by myself.
Me (growing worried): Why? What? What's wrong?
Kate: (sighs) I have been searching for the perfect bathrobe. Which has been like a month-long journey so far.
Me: A . . . bathrobe?
Kate: Yes, a bathrobe. And I think I found one but now I can't decide which color to get.
Me: You're telling me the sole reason for this phone call is to help you decide what color bathrobe to buy?
Kate: . . . Yes.

Most Annoying Trivia Competitors Ever

Here's the scene: Trivia night at the Lighthouse in Park Slope. Fritzie, Erin, Eliot and I are in two teams participating in the game. Sitting on the next two bar stools were a man-and-woman team who really could not have been bigger douchebags if they tried. Between shouting in our ears and making ridiculous comments and just being generally douche-y, these two were riding our nerves. However, the following comment proved to be the one to beat.

Fritzie, who is Mexican and fluent in Spanish and French, is arguing a point with the trivia host on a question about a translation of the song "La Cucaracha."

Fritzie: I'm Mexican, and this is the translation I learned growing up.

Woman Douchebag: You're in AMERICA NOW. You're in AMERICA.